How to Talk to Friends and Family About Donating Your Eggs
One important topic for egg donors is how to talk to your family and friends about donating your eggs. In general, you do need to tell at least two people: your doctor and a support person. Beyond that, there are good reasons to either share the information or keep it private. We have some guidance below for choosing who and what to tell about your decision to donate your eggs, as well as tips on how to have the conversation.
Why Do I Need to Tell Anyone About Donating My Eggs?
The two main reasons you need to tell your doctor and one other person about donating your eggs are Safety and Support.
You will be taking medications and undergoing a medical procedure to retrieve the eggs. Your doctor must be aware of this decision, so they can provide resources and additional care if needed.
Beyond your medical team, you also need at least one support person. This is for emotional and mental support as well as logistical: you will need someone to drive you home after the egg retrieval procedure. If you are uncomfortable with self-injections, you may want someone to help you with your medications. All of these needs are equally important, to safeguard your health and also have someone to talk to and share your feelings with as you go through this emotionally and physically impactful experience.
Do I Need to Talk to My Other Friends and Family About Donating My Eggs?
It’s up to you! There’s nothing to be ashamed of about donating your eggs - you’re providing a much-needed service to help someone, and that’s something to be proud of. It’s also a personal medical decision, which is completely reasonable to keep private. Here are some things to consider:
Do you live with anyone? Egg donation medications can have side effects like bloating, cramping, and minor mood swings (similar to during your period). You’ll also be taking time off for checkups and the retrieval. If you live with others, they may notice and be curious. Being open with your household means they can provide daily support, even if that’s watching a movie with you on the couch while you take it easy.
Will this person respect my privacy? If you don’t want everyone knowing your business, then try to only tell friends or family members that you trust to be a good confidante.
Do I have to share at work or school? Like your roommates, your colleagues may notice a shift while you prepare for the egg retrieval. However, you do not need to share the specifics of why, even with your boss or professors. You can simply say that you need time off for a medical reason, or an outpatient procedure.
Am I excited to share? We’ve stressed that you don’t have to talk about egg donation, but if you’re excited to share your decision, that’s wonderful, too! Telling friends and family about your experience and why it’s meaningful to you can be lovely and valuable.
How Do I Tell My Friends and Family About Donating My Eggs?
As always, the details are up to you. Your loved ones may be curious, so decide in advance if you want to answer questions or provide resources for them to learn on their own, like our articles on common myths and frequently asked questions about egg donation.
They may ask why you chose to donate your eggs, how much you are being compensated, or what your physical experience is like. If you don’t want to explain, you can say “I’m not looking to have a discussion right now, I just wanted to share this important life event with you. Thank you for caring!”
Be clear and honest about what you’re looking for when you tell your loved ones. Do you want them to just listen? To ask questions? To offer logistical or emotional assistance? The clearer you are, the better support they can provide. And if you still have questions about talking to your friends and family about egg donation, we can help.