Can My Friend or Family Member Donate Eggs to Me?
An important step in your donor egg journey is deciding what type of donor arrangement you would like to use. These arrangements broadly fall into two categories: directed and non-directed. In a non-directed donor agreement, the intended parents don’t receive any identifying information about the donor, and the parties have no contact with each other. In a directed donor arrangement (sometimes called a “known donor”), the intended parents do know their donor’s identity. In fact, they may even be the recipient’s friend or family member. Receiving a donated egg from a friend or relative has its own unique considerations and challenges. In this article, we’ll discuss how this type of directed donation works, and what to keep in mind as you consider your options.
How Does a Friend or Relative Donate Eggs?
The process for the donor remains essentially the same, regardless of directed or non-directed status. In all cases, donors must go through physical and mental health screenings and infectious disease testing to ensure their eligibility to donate. This means that if your desired donor doesn’t meet the general egg donation criteria, they may not be able to donate.
In one exception, however, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does allow donor egg recipients to make an informed decision if their directed donor does not pass some of the FDA-mandated testing and screening. In this case, recipients would be informed of the donor’s ineligibility, counseled on the potential risk, and allowed to decide whether to continue with the donation or not.
Why Would I Use a Relative or Friend’s Donor Egg?
The main reason why intended parents consider a relative as a donor is the opportunity for a shared genetic relationship with their child. Siblings, especially, share a close genetic relationship and might pass similar genes on to the donor-conceived child. For couples where both partners have sperm, family egg donation can be an opportunity for both partners to share a genetic relationship with their child: one partner through their sperm, and the other partner through the genes in their sibling’s egg.
Friends and family typically act as egg donors through an altruistic donor arrangement, meaning they do not receive compensation for their donation. A directed donation from a friend or relative can save money on the donation itself. However, the additional emotional, legal, and logistical challenges from this type of directed donation may outweigh the lowered financial costs.
What Challenges Does a Family or Friend Egg Donation Present?
Directed donations from friends or relatives pose unique challenges. It’s very important that everyone involved be fully informed and in agreement about:
Physical and time commitments of the donor egg cycle itself
Distinction between donating genetic material and “providing a baby”
What role the donor will play in the donor-conceived child’s life, if any
How much information to share with other friends and family members
When and what information to share with the donor-conceived child
You should also consider logistical details, such as how many cycles your friend or family member is willing to go through, what happens if anyone changes their mind during the donation cycle, and what to do with any additional eggs or embryos.
These conversations are critical to make sure everyone is fully informed and on board. To that end, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) strongly recommends psychological counseling and legal consultations for both the donor and recipient in directed donor arrangements. While SIMPLIFY primarily offers frozen, non-directed donor egg arrangements, our partner clinic Pacific Northwest Fertility (PNWF) does facilitate directed donations - and requires legal consultation and counseling for everyone involved.
Directed Donations Offer Specific Benefits - and Specific Challenges
Close relationships can be challenging to navigate, even without the added emotional stakes of fertility treatments. A directed donation from a friend or family member can be a beautiful and generous gift. However, it also has significant emotional and legal considerations. If you are considering a directed donation, it’s important to enter into it with clarity and full communication. If you have questions about donor arrangements, reach out to us today.